Nocturne by Andrea Randall & Charles Sheehan-Miles

mother
of
all
things
that
are
holy
!

Right from the audition, I was smiling like an idiot, actually saying out loud that, Hey! I played the flute! Yeah, about one page in, and I was a complete goner.

Three years later, and the chemistry between the two main characters would be obvious to a blind man in space. Yet it's not an instant 'hook-up' for the characters. They antagonize each other like their next breaths depended on it. They have moments of unguarded honesty. While I'm screaming at my iPad 'f***ing kiss her already', the raw sexual tension goes from a slow simmer to a clusterf*** of all hotness at the perfect pace.

Once these two crazy kids finally acknowledge what others have noticed for quite some time, it's not long before the cracks begin to appear. You see, their love is messy, riddled with obstacles. Yet even with all the forewarning, you still hope that they pull their heads out of their asses.

And then all hell breaks loose. In what I can say is one of the hottest, most desperate moments in the book, turns into the knife that gutted me. I know that there are faults with the characters. Hell, they aren't even close to perfect. But it's very hard to blame  two pathetic souls that are falling apart. So I'll blame James. Yes - everything that happened after was James' fault.

It's James' fault that I stopped breathing five years later. It's his fault that I went to bed at 4am EST when I had to get up at 6. If it wasn't for him and what he said to his friend, it would have been all ladybugs and lollipops! I would have been fine to put the book down, and finish it the next night. BUT NO!

Ok...I truly understand that it's not all James' fault. The other guy had a messed up sense of what he wanted for his life. Back when all hell broke loose, James found a kink in the armour that had been there already, and used it to do something he thought was helping his friend. The other guy should have grown a pair and manned-up!

But he didn't. He did the stupidest thing he could with quite possibly the stupidest women ever. I know this sounds harsh, but if you KNOW it's not you, you don't go through with it! Yeah, he took your life, but sweetheart, you gave it to him on a pretty silver platter knowing fully well that what was going on wasn't real.

AND THEN, like the other guy hasn't been an a**hole enough already, he asks the love of his life the most selfish thing possible. It works for a while...like a Bandaid for a shotgun wound in the head! And just when you think he couldn't be any more of a dick, he tops himself. And when the love of his life realizes her worth, I started bawling an ugly stream of tears. Reading it and 'watching it' play out with such unfathomable brutality was nothing short of  astonishing. I couldn't believe that it was happening AGAIN! that I was being left for the dead AGAIN!

I'm not a poet, and I'm pretty sure that these are some famous words that won some acclaim many years ago, but I would die a thousand literary deaths if I could read this story for the first time again and experience everything that was Nocturne.

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